UFT and NYCDOE Announce Agreement on Class size

EdNotesOnline News (EDNON) is reporting that the UFT and the Department of Education have come to an historic agreement on class size "that will be equitable for all, while at the same time putting some well-deserved money into the pockets of teachers," said a UFT spokesperson. "After trying the class size reduction petition gimmick (twice), lots of public relations and all other methods other than trying to negotiate lower class sizes in the contract, something we are philosophically opposed to doing, we have decided to at least use the current spirit of collaboration with Joel Klein and Mayor Bloomberg to make some money.

While not reducing class size across the board, there will be some reductions in certain areas.

Teachers will be allowed to voluntarily accept up to 10 extra children above the UFT contract in each of their classes as long as the number does not climb above 60. For each of those extra children, the teacher will be paid a dollar bonus a day as long as they show up at school.

An average class under the new agreement.

"This will give teachers an incentive to get the kids to come school," said a spokesperson for Tweed. "Those dollars can add up."

Rumors that an alternative plan has been floated to use the gross weight of all the children in the class to calculate bonuses have not been confirmed.

What of teachers who choose not to participate in the program?

"They are losers," said the DOE spokesperson. "They are scum. Clearly people who are not competent to teach. We feel the ability to teach a class of 60 effortlessly is a sign of minimum competency for any of our teachers and the message will go out hard and fast: be ready for a visit from our new multi-million dollar attorneys."

The UFT will hold a candlelight vigil to celebrate the new agreement.